Saturday, June 5, 2010

Good bye my friend....

Rest in peace my friend


Received a text that said "dad passed away @ 755".....replied "thanks for letting me know.I will come over later".

Thinking back of the first day we met 3 years ago - he was OK.It was his wife that was not coping. Their niece is a dear friend, she had asked me to see them. It was late in the evening when I reached their home. We were just chatting and at the end of it, we agreed I should see him professionally. That was the day our relationship started. 3 years ago... a long time to be with a patient, in my line of duty .


Over the years, the role of a physician intertwined with being a friend. Trusted as a physician because of my skill but enjoyed the friendship because of connection. We had been through a lot, him and his wife, eventually their children and later on their extended family. We had travel through good times, good food, bad times, sad times. As the days were near, all of us took a roller coaster ride of emotion.


Many said it must be easier for you...you had seen hundreds leaving you. You must have detached emotionally from your patients. My answer is simple,if it gets easier..then it's time for me to leave my profession. When 2 human meet and started to talk, we build relationship. No matter the time together is 2 days or 2 years, a bond is built. Through sharing of life experiences, sometime not saying anything, you feel 'tied' to that person. If you have a relationship..how can you not feel? How can you heal if you do not care?? I can't. Each patient is special to me because of that relationship.


I do not deny that there are patients that I like more than others and this man was one of them. Through sharing, I got to know him and his stories. I got to know his passion and witnessed his strength. I saw how he loved and how much he was loved. I saw a man who took ownership of himself , loving life and his family.


The last few days of his life were extremely hard for his family. It was sad ..but yet I can't help feeling that everything is going to be OK. Strange as it may sound...that at death bed, I saw peace and strength. We human are just plain resilient. Sometimes we fought to gain control when we are about to loose them and at the end of it, we found strength to go on. I guess that's how God wired us...to turn us into precious stone with each fire of pain.


Today I went to send him to his way. Final good- bye I guess. I know this is the last time I'll be seeing his face. I felt sad as I lost another friend. I feel happy because I had given my best. I felt that it is OK to let go. Sometimes we too need our closure. We too need to know that we have done our best. And today I know because I can see that his love ones possess the strength that he had. He left them his legacy as a husband, father, uncle, boss and a dear friend.